Vengeance or Forgiveness
The day began as do many others. I did some email and then headed to the gym. Before listening to the energizing sounds of Etta James (father’s day gift of my son) I climbed on the treadmill and watched the morning news on the television. The stark contract of two stories caught my attention. Later I read in the St. Petersburg Tribune (June 24, 2015) more about the same news stories. The first was about the death penalty for “Dark Knight “killer” James Homes “being applauded by victims and friends of victims who say they want to watch him die.” (dailyMail.co.UK, June 24, 2015) Among the quotes was one which is attributed to Bryan Beard who said, “He took one of my friends from this Earth. Death equals death.” Other so-called victims (family members of those who died) are reputed to have applauded the decision and say they want to watch him die.
This young man, James Eagan Holmes, is 27 year old, has a BS in neuroscience, had played soccer and attended the Lutheran Church when growing up with his family. Sadly, he first attempted suicide at age 11.
The second story is about the reaction of the family and friends of those killed at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in South Carolina.
Facing the alleged killer Dylann Roof, family members who lost close family members were unanimous in their very public declaration of forgiveness of 21-year-old Dylann Roof.
We all know, of course, that the teaching of the Christian church’s leader, Jesus Christ, is to “forgive your enemies’, but seldom has a church family who have suffered such tragic losses been so clear about following the teachings of a leader. We all know how easy it is for we humans, no matter what our religious framework, to find exceptions to every teaching. We have used the very same Christian bible to justify slavery, use of the death penalty, and almost every form of cruelty imaginable. Christians are not alone in this use of religion to justify the killing of others. Frequently Chaplains pray for the successful mission – often a mission designed to kill. Those alleging embracing the Muslim faith, the Jewish faith and many other faiths have killed in the name of their higher power – in the name of their god.
Yet, as Michael Gearson of the Washington Post points out in an article printed in The St. Petersburg Tribune on June 24, 2015 (page 13) “When many relatives of those cruelly murdered in Charleston-by a man who talked and prayed with his victims for an hour before systematically gunning them down-publicly offered their forgiveness, it was stunning and admirable in many ways.” He goes on to quote the daughter of one of the victims, “Forgiveness is also a form of freedom- a refusal to be ruled by anger or resentment. It is like laying a burden down.” Mr. Gearson goes on to discuss the dual problems, as he sees it – the problems of racism and domestic terrorism. I urge the reader to read his article by going to Internet site of the Washington Post or just googling Michael Gearson, the Power of Forgiveness.
Many readers of this blog will not be surprised that I began to think of how I was going to explain these divergent views to my six-year-old friend, Sam. I can well imagine this very curious child being aware of these events and wanting to understand how both groups of people think that their position is the logical or acceptable one. Both groups of people are composed of good people who are attempting to process the events, which led up to their grief. Both are attempting to respond in a way, which they think will help them deal with these tragedies and perhaps prevent or reduce the number of such future events. I strongly suspect that the same individuals and families who are quick to forgive Dylann Roof would be the first to show compassion to those who are applauding the death penalty for Mr. James Home.
Let’s spend a few moments with Sam.
Sam: I am really confused about why the people in South Carolina are forgiving the killer while in Colorado they are going to kill the killer. Is it because one was in a theater and one was in a church? Do we only have to forgive if something happens in a church? Is this because God is hanging out in the church?
Me: Those are really good questions Sam. No, I think that God is just as present in the theater as he is in the church.
Sam: Do the people in the theater have a different God or a different church, which says it, is okay to kill.
Me: Not necessarily Sam. Many of the family members and friends of those killed in the theater in Colorado also attend a similar church as the people in South Carolina.
Sam: Then which is right! Both Mr. Holmes and Mr. Roof are bad people, right?
Me: Well, Sam, some of us think that neither man is bad. Their minds were really confused.
Sam: Does not mean that everyone one who kills has a confused mind? What about Uncle Tony who fought in Iraq? When I asked him he said he had to kill people
Me. No that is different. Our president and congress decided that we had to kill people in Iraq to protect other people.
Sam: But Uncle Tony says that some people now think we were wrong to kill people in Iraq.
Me: Yes, I am aware of that, but we thought that they were getting ready to harm us.
Sam: So if I think that someone is going to harm me or someone in our family it is okay to hurt them first. I could even kill them?
Me; No. It would be really nice that you wanted to protect the family, but in our family we are going to try to find other ways of taking care of each other, You know that when you and your brother are fighting what we do.
Sam: Yes, I know. You make sit down and talk to you and mom. He is a bully. How come you do not just punish him?
Me: Well, Sam, sometimes you also do some things, which your brother finds really aggravating.
Sam: I know…. (sigh)
Me. We seemed to have strayed from our discussion about forgiveness.
Sam: oh yeah!
Me: Well, in our family we think that all of us hurt each other’s feelings or do something which seems wrong to others in the family. We know that everyone in our family deserves to be forgiven. No matter what anyone in this family does, everyone is still a member of the family.
Sam: I know. Is that why Santa even brings gifts to my brother?
Me: Yes. He brings gifts to Uncle Tom also. You know that Uncle Tom has that funny sounding disease. It is called Alzheimer’s. Sometimes Uncle Tom gets really scared and hits others. The disease makes his brain sick.
Perhaps both Mr. Holmes and Mr. Roof have sick brains.
Sam: Isn’t it still wrong to kill others.
Me: Yes, God does not like us to kill others but God knows that our human brain sometimes gets sick and then we do bad things. We are lucky that our brains are not sick. At least ,not today.
Sam: Can I say that my sick brain made me destroy my mean brother’s x-box. That would serve him right
Obviously, this discussion is go on for a very long time. I love the fact that the folks at Emanuel have challenged the people in this country to have these sorts of discussion. Whether we are Christian, Muslim, and Jewish, Atheists or claim some other faith we need to be able to explore the possibility that forgiveness frees us all. Perhaps if we could come to this conclusion we cold focus more on what we as a culture, are doing or not doing to promote mental health and communal respect. Communal respect would not allow for racism or any of the other “reasons’ we use to hurt each other or to dissociate ourselves from “the we” of our existence.
The day began as do many others. I did some email and then headed to the gym. Before listening to the energizing sounds of Etta James (father’s day gift of my son) I climbed on the treadmill and watched the morning news on the television. The stark contract of two stories caught my attention. Later I read in the St. Petersburg Tribune (June 24, 2015) more about the same news stories. The first was about the death penalty for “Dark Knight “killer” James Homes “being applauded by victims and friends of victims who say they want to watch him die.” (dailyMail.co.UK, June 24, 2015) Among the quotes was one which is attributed to Bryan Beard who said, “He took one of my friends from this Earth. Death equals death.” Other so-called victims (family members of those who died) are reputed to have applauded the decision and say they want to watch him die.
This young man, James Eagan Holmes, is 27 year old, has a BS in neuroscience, had played soccer and attended the Lutheran Church when growing up with his family. Sadly, he first attempted suicide at age 11.
The second story is about the reaction of the family and friends of those killed at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in South Carolina.
Facing the alleged killer Dylann Roof, family members who lost close family members were unanimous in their very public declaration of forgiveness of 21-year-old Dylann Roof.
We all know, of course, that the teaching of the Christian church’s leader, Jesus Christ, is to “forgive your enemies’, but seldom has a church family who have suffered such tragic losses been so clear about following the teachings of a leader. We all know how easy it is for we humans, no matter what our religious framework, to find exceptions to every teaching. We have used the very same Christian bible to justify slavery, use of the death penalty, and almost every form of cruelty imaginable. Christians are not alone in this use of religion to justify the killing of others. Frequently Chaplains pray for the successful mission – often a mission designed to kill. Those alleging embracing the Muslim faith, the Jewish faith and many other faiths have killed in the name of their higher power – in the name of their god.
Yet, as Michael Gearson of the Washington Post points out in an article printed in The St. Petersburg Tribune on June 24, 2015 (page 13) “When many relatives of those cruelly murdered in Charleston-by a man who talked and prayed with his victims for an hour before systematically gunning them down-publicly offered their forgiveness, it was stunning and admirable in many ways.” He goes on to quote the daughter of one of the victims, “Forgiveness is also a form of freedom- a refusal to be ruled by anger or resentment. It is like laying a burden down.” Mr. Gearson goes on to discuss the dual problems, as he sees it – the problems of racism and domestic terrorism. I urge the reader to read his article by going to Internet site of the Washington Post or just googling Michael Gearson, the Power of Forgiveness.
Many readers of this blog will not be surprised that I began to think of how I was going to explain these divergent views to my six-year-old friend, Sam. I can well imagine this very curious child being aware of these events and wanting to understand how both groups of people think that their position is the logical or acceptable one. Both groups of people are composed of good people who are attempting to process the events, which led up to their grief. Both are attempting to respond in a way, which they think will help them deal with these tragedies and perhaps prevent or reduce the number of such future events. I strongly suspect that the same individuals and families who are quick to forgive Dylann Roof would be the first to show compassion to those who are applauding the death penalty for Mr. James Home.
Let’s spend a few moments with Sam.
Sam: I am really confused about why the people in South Carolina are forgiving the killer while in Colorado they are going to kill the killer. Is it because one was in a theater and one was in a church? Do we only have to forgive if something happens in a church? Is this because God is hanging out in the church?
Me: Those are really good questions Sam. No, I think that God is just as present in the theater as he is in the church.
Sam: Do the people in the theater have a different God or a different church, which says it, is okay to kill.
Me: Not necessarily Sam. Many of the family members and friends of those killed in the theater in Colorado also attend a similar church as the people in South Carolina.
Sam: Then which is right! Both Mr. Holmes and Mr. Roof are bad people, right?
Me: Well, Sam, some of us think that neither man is bad. Their minds were really confused.
Sam: Does not mean that everyone one who kills has a confused mind? What about Uncle Tony who fought in Iraq? When I asked him he said he had to kill people
Me. No that is different. Our president and congress decided that we had to kill people in Iraq to protect other people.
Sam: But Uncle Tony says that some people now think we were wrong to kill people in Iraq.
Me: Yes, I am aware of that, but we thought that they were getting ready to harm us.
Sam: So if I think that someone is going to harm me or someone in our family it is okay to hurt them first. I could even kill them?
Me; No. It would be really nice that you wanted to protect the family, but in our family we are going to try to find other ways of taking care of each other, You know that when you and your brother are fighting what we do.
Sam: Yes, I know. You make sit down and talk to you and mom. He is a bully. How come you do not just punish him?
Me: Well, Sam, sometimes you also do some things, which your brother finds really aggravating.
Sam: I know…. (sigh)
Me. We seemed to have strayed from our discussion about forgiveness.
Sam: oh yeah!
Me: Well, in our family we think that all of us hurt each other’s feelings or do something which seems wrong to others in the family. We know that everyone in our family deserves to be forgiven. No matter what anyone in this family does, everyone is still a member of the family.
Sam: I know. Is that why Santa even brings gifts to my brother?
Me: Yes. He brings gifts to Uncle Tom also. You know that Uncle Tom has that funny sounding disease. It is called Alzheimer’s. Sometimes Uncle Tom gets really scared and hits others. The disease makes his brain sick.
Perhaps both Mr. Holmes and Mr. Roof have sick brains.
Sam: Isn’t it still wrong to kill others.
Me: Yes, God does not like us to kill others but God knows that our human brain sometimes gets sick and then we do bad things. We are lucky that our brains are not sick. At least ,not today.
Sam: Can I say that my sick brain made me destroy my mean brother’s x-box. That would serve him right
Obviously, this discussion is go on for a very long time. I love the fact that the folks at Emanuel have challenged the people in this country to have these sorts of discussion. Whether we are Christian, Muslim, and Jewish, Atheists or claim some other faith we need to be able to explore the possibility that forgiveness frees us all. Perhaps if we could come to this conclusion we cold focus more on what we as a culture, are doing or not doing to promote mental health and communal respect. Communal respect would not allow for racism or any of the other “reasons’ we use to hurt each other or to dissociate ourselves from “the we” of our existence.
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